Blessed

Last night, while in bed, I was thinking to myself, "What on earth have I done to deserve such people in my life? People who actually think I'm good enough even when I've had doubts myself. People who believe in me no matter how much I've failed. I'm so flawed, and yet they take me as I am?"

It was then that I knew that I am blessed.

I'm blessed to have grandparents who loved me in ways that simply can't be describe in words. They gave me a childhood that I wouldn't trade for anything else. I knew I was a little different from my classmates, for I lived with my grandparents and not my parents. And to my surprise, it never crossed my mind once that I should have it any other way. That's not to say that I have never wondered how it'd be like if it was the other way, but things happen for a reason and I'm glad it happened. To this day, I'm still that seven-year-old child who holds onto her grandma's hand while crossing the road, ride in the back seat with a smile on her face while her grandpa drives and share ice-cream with her grandparents on the way out of a supermarket.

I'm blessed to have friends. Every single day that I'm with my friends, they surprise me with their absurd antics. They make me feel normal, while other people think I'm slightly crazy. But more than that, they make me smile when I need it the most.

Now I don't know what I've done to deserve these people in my life. What I know is that they would stand by me even at my worst, when they are in no way obliged to. Believing in me when I'm in doubt of myself, making me feel like I'm good enough, and teaching me ways of life I would have never learned anywhere else. And I truly thank God for sending these amazing people into my life.

You have what it takes

Ever had that feeling where you want to do something, but something is pulling you back?

You want it badly, but there's this wrenching feeling that lies in your heart giving you the alert messages telling you that 'no, you don't have what it takes to do it'. Or someone's always making you feel like you're not good enough, and so you don't have the confidence to do it and tend to doubt yourself over and over again.

Well, I want to tell you that you have what it takes.

Now, I'm not saying you won't fail every once in a while, but why do we fail? So that we can pick ourselves back up again, and continue trying down a different path. Don't let anyone else make you think otherwise. Follow your heart, and do what you want. Because at the end of the day, it's your life. At the end of the day, you will look back at what you've done so far, and you will wince at the misfortunes but you will also smile of the great things that have happened to you.

Whatever it is that is pulling you back from whatever you want to do today, believe in yourself for once and do it already. I know it's hard, because I often doubt myself over and over again, at 3am in the morning, and have that little voice in my head repeatedly saying, 'you're not good enough, you're not good enough'. But you know what? I don't let it stop me.

Through sleepless nights, I've learned that it's better to do what you want today, than to regret it tomorrow when your chances are gone. And even if you fail the first time, remember that there is always the second time. It is when you allow failures and second chances into your life that you truly live your life.