I understand now, Mum.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Those were the words my mother said to me when I went to my first sleepover. At the time, I was quite confused and wondered why she would say such a thing. What would I do exactly? I didn't understand her. I considered myself a sensible kid, because I generally was. I was brought up right, and knew what was right, and what was wrong. I didn't understand her words.

Today, I understood.

As I was walking past a primary school, I watched a dad drop his son off. He was helping his son with his bag, making sure that the flaps were correctly done. And then he talked to his son, laughing, and then gave his son an assuring pat on the shoulder, before he headed back to his car. I thought, that was nice. And then out of the blue, I was reminded of what my mother said years ago.

It all came back to me, and it made sense. My mother watched me grow from a little baby who hated the bath but never cried (unless you're bathing her, of course), to a toddler who loved her abc's, then to a living and talking girl who grew to love her music and writing stories. Who loved her crayons and painting, although like her mother, she was really no good at art, but she gave it a go anyway. That was me, but I was growing up, and being my overprotective mum who watched me grow, she wanted me to act safe, so she gave me advice and hoped for the best.

It's hard being a parent. Each day, you send you child to school, and it's difficult because you don't have control over what happens at school. You go to work, and you hope for the best. Child is sick. You bring them to the doctor's, and sometimes you can't take the day off, so you spend the whole day worrying. It's hard, because there are so many things that you can't control. There are circumstances that you just have to accept and let it all work out. It's difficult, and I certainly don't envy my mother at times, especially when it came to camps and being away from home.

I'm sorry that I worried you Mum, and I know that even as I grow older, you'll still worry for me. But I understand now. I understand now, Mum.